What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Sure no problem officer.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Why did Cartman love Heidi purely with heart, her being the first one he ever did, but then one day Butters tells him that all women are manipulative and then he began to believe that she was a bad person and pretended to be a victim?

Yes sir it is.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

{RING} {RING}

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Can trans people tell me what the criteria for a woman is excluding self identification (facts do not rely on self belief)?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?

HELLO

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What will the legacy of Jimmy Carter be in light of his death today at 100?

After a few moments he returns.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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